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I cannot in any case.

[He swings his legs out of bed. And honestly he is visibly more agitated and restless without Emet-Selch nearby.]

I think coffee might not be the best plan right now, so I'll go for warm milk.

... Can you handle being alone for a few moments?

[ considering the state he's in without Emet there ]

I shall defer to your judgement.

...I am not going to jump out the window, Five, I will be all right.

Didn't you and Vergil jump off the balcony when you were drunk? You can't blame me for asking.

[ but he'll move to go kiss the top of his head before he leaves, going to go get some warm milk for him, and coffee for himself. ]

... There you go.

Under the effects of common law.

[He protests but the protests end when he is kissed on the head and he will just sit here processing that until Five comes back, setting the cup aside a moment to pull him into a hug.]

[ oh no. Too much affection how will he survive.

He doesn't protest, though, simply returns the hug ]

[He will just have to expire.

He releases Five after a while though, and picks up his warm mug because holding something warm! Is! Soothing!]

Thank you. Are you up to talking?

[ he's going to take his own cup and take a sip, sitting next to Lahabrea again right after ]

We're both awake so we might as well.

[He glances around the room but of course Emet-Selch is not there and that is really agitating oh well. He tightens his hold on the mug and sighs.]

My thoughts are hardly better ordered than yesterday, but this is best discussed without Hades making faces. I will preface this by saying he will not like a thing I have to say, but I do not expect you to keep it from him. I will not be--I will not keep secrets from him. Simply... It is easier to talk without his objections to it.

[ he already feels like he's not going to like this discussion much either ]

Go on.

[No one is going to like this discussion.

He looks at his warm milk for a long time, trying to order his thoughts somewhat coherently. It's quite... Difficult.]

Tempering... What do you think of it, from your observations? We discussed it, once.

[ He should have gone for alcohol not coffee. ]

... So long as you're tempered you're never going to find happiness. You will always find a justification to summon Zodiark because that's what he demands.

Any alternative solution would not be visible to you, because he'd make you blind to it. This world made that perfectly clear. You are unable to think of anything that doesn't involve his existence, and the sacrifice it requires, while under his control.

Edited 2020-08-09 21:39 (UTC)

You are correct of course. There is no way to reach a world without Zodiark while we are bound to his will, even if a thousand alternate and better paths lay at our feet, we could only choose the one leading to Him.

[His knuckles grow white in their grip before he forces his fingers to relax, and he breathes carefully, but there's a fine tremor in his hold of the cup.]

And there is more besides.

A primal cannot restore a person's life. Zodiark may have been able to stop the Sound and cleanse the planet, but reviving our fallen was never an option. And I doubt... I doubt even if Zodiark could restore their vessels that Hades could restore their souls, not untainted, not correctly.

The path we walk has been delusion and lies--

[He stops, abruptly, raises a shaking hand to cover his eyes and makes himself breathe again, the tone of his voice torn with grief.]

[ He knew it was bad but he did not realize it was that bad. So all that sacrifice is for NOTHING. He already disliked Zodiark but now? That's even worse ]

Even if that's true untempering you both is not as good an option as I initially thought. As you're experiencing right now.

[ What does he even say? Don't worry about the murder it was just kinda necessary ]

What would you have me do?

[He has to set the cup down because he has to press his head in his hands and try to breathe. Sorry for the hysterical laughter too.]

Hahahahah! Oh yes--yes do not--do not even think of untempering Hades. I am holding it together remarkably well in comparison to whatever he would experience. He is ever the more vulnerable of us.

[Says the man having a breakdown that started yesterday and hasn't really stopped.

He tries to breathe but the sobbing giggles make it hard so it's a minute or two before he's composed enough to answer, just giving up and flopping backwards in the bed to stare blankly at the ceiling.]

I do not know what I would have you do, Five. It is all I can do to keep my mind from fraying right now.

Ask me anything, I am at least able to answer you without delusion.

We merged soul a few times before and I'd already picked up on why exactly untempering him would be a bad idea. I thought I could simply watch over you both and ensure Zodiark would not take more than strictly required, but given what you're telling me...

I don't think that'll ever be possible.

He will keep on asking more and more of you regardless of the circumstances, won't he.

You merged hm?

...

Yes. That is the nature of a primal. To do what it is summoned for, and to feast upon what it is given. There is no end to a primal's hunger, and even those without malice will continue to drain aether to exist.

And even if he could fix things, did fix things, and all was well, we would still feel the need to summon him. That is the nature of being tempered.

First to test each other's abilities and then to help me while I was, you know ... having a time.

[ extremely depressed is the right definition but he won't say it. He stays quiet at the explanation, however. ]

And eliminating Zodiark would not work, since you'd simply summon him again and, well. We already saw how disastrous the results of that are.

Ah...

[He reads between the lines but now is not the time to get sidetracked.]

Yes. And now you see the dilemma. To truly save our star we must be untempered, for no path involving Zodiark can save it. And yet to untemper us both would render us--I cannot even think too much, on all the things we have done, I have done--

[His voice breaks and he takes in air with a sob.]

It would break us, we would die long before any success could be achieved. Even if I could manage to weather this, Hades is unlikely to.

If you leave one untempered and the other not, that would also cause issues in the long term.

I know--I know there must be some way forward. But right now my mind is too muddled to see it. And should this affect be temporary--not only will I dismiss all these concerns, I will dismiss you bringing them up. I will have no other choice.

I can think of a solution but to be honest I don't like it, and neither will either of you, tempered or not.

[ but. If it is the only one that's actually feasible, maybe he will consider it ]

Altering your memories after time traveling. Give you just enough information and time to face the end of days before it happens, and allow you to find a different solution.

No.

I told you you would hate it.

[ but it'd still be better than an endless cycle of sacrifice and suffering. ]

I don't intend on just giving up on finding a solution. I've promised I'd do everything in my power to ensure you'd save you world and I intend to keep my word.

It isn't an option.

...I know. That is why I am telling you this. And I am sorry, too, because if I lose my will to Zodiark again I will not be of much help. I do not wish to have you laboring to save two worlds.

I would like to find some solution with you now, if at all possible. And yet it is difficult to think very clearly.

My world takes priority, but I do already have a solution for it. And helping you has likely given me a better chance at succeeding.

I don't think focusing on yours until I'm able to face my sister will be much of an issue.

[ But. It's true he doesn't have any solution now. ]

Altering the laws of your world to eliminate primals and make them impossible to summon might be a solution. And I imagine it's a wish we could have your enemies make. A suggestion here and there might suffice to plant the idea.

[He laughs softly.]

Are they my enemies, Five? As I am now I don't see them as such.

But you're right. Perhaps they would make such a wish. It would save them many headaches.

I am putting you in a difficult position though, all the same. Anything we come up with that prevents the summoning of Zodiark I will oppose should I be retempered. And Hades will as well of course. I do not want you in a position where you must choose between our world and our trust.

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