[ It seems to work, because the warmth of it is familiar enough to be soothing, and foreign enough to be something he doesn't associate to the apocalypse. He'll squeeze his hand, and brings it to his lips though he tugs him gently shortly afterwards, so they can start walking ]
You're already helping. I realize with how nervous I'm looking it might not show but I would be in a far worse mental state if you weren't with me. Usually when I find myself here you and Lahabrea make it short enough that I very rarely have to think about it.
And I love you for that. Rest assured that that's the only type of distress I want to experience. Safely at your hands.
[ He gives him a small smile, and then focuses on the ruins around them. The smell of burnt flesh is absent despite the fact this is a dream from his memories - but the more they talk, the stronger the scent of oils and flowers feels ]
It does oddly feel like home for me too. Even if it could barely be called that, it was still the place I lived in for so many years.
Wanting others to be happy. How it has made us both grow so recently.
[He does notice and he can’t help but smile but he won’t bring attention to it.]
Fondly isn’t the right word, but when you are back and are standing in a world free from the apocalypse, do you imagine your view on this place will change? You are right, it was your place of residence for so many years.
[He pauses.]
I wonder if similarly if I would ever look at the Source in the same manner.
Of course I am. Every day I get the privilege of seeing this beautiful person before me, in body, in mind, in soul. Doing what is right but living in the reality of the world he lives in. One who didn’t let his tragedy define him, but rose above it.
One I might even be tempted to even call ‘hero’ without the sarcasm.
Hero is definitely too much. ... But thank you. I do want to be the type of person you could be proud of. Your opinion might not be all I care about, or even something I care about my own.
[ and of course his face his red, and he's trying to hide with humor as always. But like he said, Emet's opinion matters, and he does want to make him proud ]
... I'm proud of you too, you know. I always am. For how far you've come, how much you're capable of loving so strongly despite everything. Despite your own wishes sometimes. It's your greatest quality.
[ As they walk, there are some subtle changes. The sky doesn't look dark with red and grey anymore, and the buildings are no longer on fire. There's still destruction, but rather than looking as if it just happened, it's that of a world that has settled down with it. There's even some stubborn wild plants growing ]
I wouldn't have been able to handle it at the time, that's true. I imagine it would have been quite awkward for us both.
We did have our fair share of those. I will never forget the look on your face the first time I asked you to sit in my lap, even as platonic as the gesture was.
[He stops and looks up into the sky and then walks over to a patch of stubborn plants and kneels next to them tugging him to join.]
[ Nevermind that now it's one of his favourite things, and it quickly became so after that first time. There's some surprise when he kneels and tugs at him, but he joins him ]
Well. We both love the sound of your voice, so why not.
[ And of course he seems to enjoy that, it feels possessive in just the way he always like, makes him feel his and that's especially good in a place like this ]
[He can’t help but smile. His sass has always been part of his charm.]
I’ve been reading books about your star recently to try to get a better grasp of it. Your history. Your cultures. Though I can only assume it is yours most of the time as there seem a few that are quite similar.
Thus I hope you don’t mind that I’ve been building a wish list of sorts of places to go. Monuments to religions, vast natural marvels, and I do recall boasting of a few named wonders.
And beaches of course. I wonder if I can drag you to enough that you will tire of the sand and the waves.
And drives across the countryside as well. Though I suppose I will need to save up for a vehicle. As cozy as it would be to rely on you for all things financial, I could do with a part time job.
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Re: Day 399
You're already helping. I realize with how nervous I'm looking it might not show but I would be in a far worse mental state if you weren't with me. Usually when I find myself here you and Lahabrea make it short enough that I very rarely have to think about it.
But now here I am. Actually walking through this.
Re: Day 399
[He looks at the landscape, or the ruins thereof, as they walk. Trying to put into memory parts of it.]
I imagine it helps that you have memories after this. Even if your fate is completely certain, this is quite assuredly your past.
Thought truthfully, it makes me homesick seeing it and I’ve never even visited your star.
Re: Day 399
[ He gives him a small smile, and then focuses on the ruins around them. The smell of burnt flesh is absent despite the fact this is a dream from his memories - but the more they talk, the stronger the scent of oils and flowers feels ]
It does oddly feel like home for me too. Even if it could barely be called that, it was still the place I lived in for so many years.
Re: Day 399
[He does notice and he can’t help but smile but he won’t bring attention to it.]
Fondly isn’t the right word, but when you are back and are standing in a world free from the apocalypse, do you imagine your view on this place will change? You are right, it was your place of residence for so many years.
[He pauses.]
I wonder if similarly if I would ever look at the Source in the same manner.
Re: Day 399
But I think I'm pretty all right with trading that off.
Re: Day 399
[He does look up at the sky.]
I know I call you the dawn, but do you feel like hope?
Re: Day 399
Re: Day 399
Maybe I just want to see you blush.
Conceited or not, you are, at least for me. Your strength and will stronger than my own.
Very few could come back from this and be able to flourish as you have. So be a little proud.
Re: Day 399
...
Well.
Are you? Proud of me.
[ He knows he is, because Emet said so before. But he still asks, making it all the more obvious that he wants to hear it ]
Re: Day 399
One I might even be tempted to even call ‘hero’ without the sarcasm.
Re: Day 399
But it matters.
And that's something not many people share.
Re: Day 399
And even above that I respect you and look up to you.
Re: Day 399
[ and of course his face his red, and he's trying to hide with humor as always. But like he said, Emet's opinion matters, and he does want to make him proud ]
... I'm proud of you too, you know. I always am. For how far you've come, how much you're capable of loving so strongly despite everything. Despite your own wishes sometimes. It's your greatest quality.
Re: Day 399
You were the first, too, since times nearly forgotten to accept me for as I was.
[He wraps his arms around his waist tucking his face against his shoulder.]
At least I no longer feel the need to leave the room this time.
Re: Day 399
I guess that's progress too. Though it was a little funny to see you leave back then.
Re: Day 399
What would you have even done had I gotten emotional in that moment? It would have surprised you, I imagine.
Re: Day 399
I wouldn't have been able to handle it at the time, that's true. I imagine it would have been quite awkward for us both.
Re: Day 399
[He stops and looks up into the sky and then walks over to a patch of stubborn plants and kneels next to them tugging him to join.]
Re: Day 399
[ Nevermind that now it's one of his favourite things, and it quickly became so after that first time. There's some surprise when he kneels and tugs at him, but he joins him ]
Oh.
Re: Day 399
[He admires it before he lies down on the concrete and rubble next to the plants coaxing Five to rest on him.]
How stubborn and beautiful. Just like someone else I know.
Re: Day 399
[ He knows what he means, he's being cheeky ]
Re: Day 399
[He snorts as he pets his hair letting nails dig in just a bit.]
I could talk about myself if you wish. As a distraction.
Re: Day 399
[ And of course he seems to enjoy that, it feels possessive in just the way he always like, makes him feel his and that's especially good in a place like this ]
Re: Day 399
I’ve been reading books about your star recently to try to get a better grasp of it. Your history. Your cultures. Though I can only assume it is yours most of the time as there seem a few that are quite similar.
Thus I hope you don’t mind that I’ve been building a wish list of sorts of places to go. Monuments to religions, vast natural marvels, and I do recall boasting of a few named wonders.
And beaches of course. I wonder if I can drag you to enough that you will tire of the sand and the waves.
And drives across the countryside as well. Though I suppose I will need to save up for a vehicle. As cozy as it would be to rely on you for all things financial, I could do with a part time job.