[ He doesn't protest at all and rests his head against him, just like that, quiet for a few moments as he thinks over the words ]
It's been a rough couple of days. I keep trying to bounce back and push forward and then something else happens, and to be honest it's difficult to think of it as anything other than me dragging you down with me.
I know supporting each other is the whole point of a relationship, romantic or otherwise. But it's harder than I thought, to fight that instinct that tells me to deal with it all on my own. Even knowing you're with me. Even seeing you right beside me.
I am old and stubborn, after all.
[ there's a pause, and he reaches up to brush his knuckles against Emet's cheek ]
But if I keep like this I'm only going to worry you more, aren't I?
And this does not require you to divulge every thought, ever worry, every concern. If it is too much to speak, then take comfort in my presence. Even if all else had not happened Wildfire meant the world to you. 'Tis no small loss. I would think you to shed tears if you already haven't.
Do consider the reverse if your mind ever tells you it is a burden. How did you feel when you watched over myself when Lahabrea was untempered? I imagine your chief concern was over me and you cared little about the effort needed. I do hope relief did fill you when you realized just how tremendous your support meant. For me, 'tis the same.
And truthfully, I'd rather drown with you than stand by and do nothing at all. Lahabrea and Elidibus died long before their essence scattered, and I could do nothing to help them. So if given the choice, allow me to tread water. It is better than the alternative.
I know. And I know it'd hurt me if you were to keep me at arm's lengths while you're struggling, too. The last thing I want is for you to feel as though you can't help when your presence alone is providing me no small amount of comfort.
[ a pause, and then he adds ]
I haven't cried yet. Though I won't deny I felt quite close to it. You're right, he does mean the world to me.
I can't even begin to describe how much he's given me with just his presence. A little funny to think it started with an insensitive comment of his, and then he deciding to confide in me with his worries.
And he played no small part in bringing us closer too. Remember how I scolded you for wanting to shield him from the worst of this place?
[He lets go of his hand to run his fingers rhythmically through his hair.]
I believe you opened your heart to him long before you did to me. To watch over. To teach. You called him a son, but perhaps he was the younger brother you never had. You were all the same age after all. But he was yours to impart knowledge, to be kind in that way you are. You were blunt back then, you still are, but you did always listen.
Was he not the embodiment of the star you want to save? When you look at him and think beyond your siblings, it is all the Wildfires that you want to create a place for. That those like him would be spared the Apocalypse. That they could live in joy peacefully.
He did bring us closer in more ways than one. As for shielding him, I still believe you were right and wrong about it.
It is what made me feel so protective of him initially. I honestly wanted for him to keep having a normal life, and I do wish he never had to learn how to kill someone. With any luck the memory itself will fade from him soon enough. But I do know it tends to stay.
He left to be with Silence and Shine. His life will never be normal if you have a girlfriend from another star and their parent from yet another.
But I do understand your point.
You did what you could. And he will always appreciate you for it. Don't think I don't forget how excited he was to show you the basketball court or when you gave him that friendship certificate. He was practically beaming.
Enjoying any time with me has charm. Just as I can say the same for you.
[Being extremely cheeky.]
It seems we will be getting a new member soon, and you as well. So there are new faces to look forward to. But we can also reminisce about our joint custody if you desire. I wonder if you actually ever played the sport with him.
And you will never know, I'm bringing this secret to the grave.
[ a pause, then he adds ]
I do worry a bit. About the new members of Taisho. We were a disaster before but at least I could just chalk it up to other people being just as stubborn as I am, and a significant part of the Unit being too soft.
Even if I know I'm technically not responsible for the Unit it's hard not to feel like I am.
[He just laughs at that and continues to hold his hand.]
I thought the dinner went well and was nice overall. At least I can see what you mean about Cypher wanting unity.
I think Kaguya finally did get what she wanted. You do think of them as an estranged family. Not equal to your own of course, but you wouldn't care otherwise.
I really don't like it being put in those terms, though I can't deny it. But at least it's been on my own terms, and not because I was told to.
That said, regarding dinner. It was nice, but Klaus and I did have something of a confrontation. It's been on my mind and I was actually going to ask your advice on it.
It always had to be on your own terms. You were not incorrect when you said just being put on the unit made you important to each other in a supporting way.
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
[He sits down and pulls Five to put his head in his lap.]
But truthfully I am worried about you. So here I am to be whatever you need me to be.
Re: Day 303
It's been a rough couple of days. I keep trying to bounce back and push forward and then something else happens, and to be honest it's difficult to think of it as anything other than me dragging you down with me.
I know supporting each other is the whole point of a relationship, romantic or otherwise. But it's harder than I thought, to fight that instinct that tells me to deal with it all on my own. Even knowing you're with me. Even seeing you right beside me.
I am old and stubborn, after all.
[ there's a pause, and he reaches up to brush his knuckles against Emet's cheek ]
But if I keep like this I'm only going to worry you more, aren't I?
Re: Day 303
[He takes his hand and kisses it.]
And this does not require you to divulge every thought, ever worry, every concern. If it is too much to speak, then take comfort in my presence. Even if all else had not happened Wildfire meant the world to you. 'Tis no small loss. I would think you to shed tears if you already haven't.
Do consider the reverse if your mind ever tells you it is a burden. How did you feel when you watched over myself when Lahabrea was untempered? I imagine your chief concern was over me and you cared little about the effort needed. I do hope relief did fill you when you realized just how tremendous your support meant. For me, 'tis the same.
And truthfully, I'd rather drown with you than stand by and do nothing at all. Lahabrea and Elidibus died long before their essence scattered, and I could do nothing to help them. So if given the choice, allow me to tread water. It is better than the alternative.
Re: Day 303
[ a pause, and then he adds ]
I haven't cried yet. Though I won't deny I felt quite close to it. You're right, he does mean the world to me.
I can't even begin to describe how much he's given me with just his presence. A little funny to think it started with an insensitive comment of his, and then he deciding to confide in me with his worries.
And he played no small part in bringing us closer too. Remember how I scolded you for wanting to shield him from the worst of this place?
Re: Day 303
I believe you opened your heart to him long before you did to me. To watch over. To teach. You called him a son, but perhaps he was the younger brother you never had. You were all the same age after all. But he was yours to impart knowledge, to be kind in that way you are. You were blunt back then, you still are, but you did always listen.
Was he not the embodiment of the star you want to save? When you look at him and think beyond your siblings, it is all the Wildfires that you want to create a place for. That those like him would be spared the Apocalypse. That they could live in joy peacefully.
He did bring us closer in more ways than one. As for shielding him, I still believe you were right and wrong about it.
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
But I do understand your point.
You did what you could. And he will always appreciate you for it. Don't think I don't forget how excited he was to show you the basketball court or when you gave him that friendship certificate. He was practically beaming.
Re: Day 303
I gave him that certificate to make fun of him and he took it seriously. ... I'm really going to miss him.
Re: Day 303
[Thumbing a finger across his cheek.]
Perhaps the first thing you should send him is a copy of that certificate. You do have a perfect memory after all.
Re: Day 303
... How much energy do you have now? Would you be up for a walk?
Re: Day 303
[He pats his shoulder.]
I could be convinced since I'm not tired at the moment.
Re: Day 303
Then I'd like to take one for a while, while we talk. I'm keeping the blanket, it's cold.
Re: Day 303
Finally I am getting you to enjoy nature. Perhaps we'll have Vergil calling you a tree hugger as well one day.
Re: Day 303
But admittedly enjoying nature while in your company does have its charm.
[ and he'll squeeze his hand right back ]
Re: Day 303
[Being extremely cheeky.]
It seems we will be getting a new member soon, and you as well. So there are new faces to look forward to. But we can also reminisce about our joint custody if you desire. I wonder if you actually ever played the sport with him.
Re: Day 303
[ a pause, then he adds ]
I do worry a bit. About the new members of Taisho. We were a disaster before but at least I could just chalk it up to other people being just as stubborn as I am, and a significant part of the Unit being too soft.
Even if I know I'm technically not responsible for the Unit it's hard not to feel like I am.
Re: Day 303
I thought the dinner went well and was nice overall. At least I can see what you mean about Cypher wanting unity.
I think Kaguya finally did get what she wanted. You do think of them as an estranged family. Not equal to your own of course, but you wouldn't care otherwise.
Re: Day 303
That said, regarding dinner. It was nice, but Klaus and I did have something of a confrontation. It's been on my mind and I was actually going to ask your advice on it.
Re: Day 303
Did it? What happened?
Re: Day 303
And he's tired of me cutting him off from matters that involve us. His words. More or less.
Re: Day 303
I will ask you the same question I asked him though I already know the answer. Do you love your brother?
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Besides. I don't want him to obsess over it and end up taking too many memories at once just in hopes of figuring it out. I'm worried.
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303
Re: Day 303